Be Yourself – The Conspiracy

Who taught you the importance of “being yourself?”

Probably a parent or a teacher or a close relative.

What no one talks about when you’re a child is the startling fact that most people encouraging you to be yourself, are in fact secretly suppressing their true self.

Case in point: The other day I was driving with the boys in the minivan and I wanted more than anything to jam out to “Ice, Ice Baby.”  Why?  Because I like to dance and sing.  And why “Ice Ice Baby”?  Because I know all the lyrics and I felt like rapping.  (We can define “rapping” in another post – stop laughing.)

I thought through the lyrics in my head and tried to figure out if there were any horribly inappropriate words.

If I had been in the car by myself, I would have just turned on the song and danced.

But being that the boys were in the car, I wondered if I should really sing and dance to this admittedly silly (though remarkable) song.

So how can I avoid being a hypocrite?  How can I teach my children that it’s important to be yourself, to embrace your weirdness and not to worry what others think, when I usually do the opposite when I’m around them?

I don’t have the answer to this.

(If you do please reply now and let me know).

I do, however, have 5 oddball ways I’ve chosen to be myself, despite what might be “best” for my kids.

1. When we leave the grocery store or Target I make sure everyone is on the shopping cart, and then I scooter pedal as hard as I can then hop on and ride that cart straight to my car.  I feel like I’m 6 years old again riding my bicycle down a big hill.

It’s fun.  It’s easy.  And it makes me smile every time.

2. I read books and ignore my children while doing so.  I rationalize this by thinking that I’m teaching them the joy of reading.  The truth is, I don’t know if it’s teaching them anything or not, but sometimes, I just want to read.  And have some quiet time.  So I do.

3. I talk about places and people all around the world.  I realize the boys don’t understand what a country is, let alone what “Germany” or “Costa Rica” are.  But travel and learning about the world is a huge love of mine.  I have globes and maps in our house.  They hear me talk about castles in Germany, kangaroos in Australia, and they see my eyes light up when I look through old photos or find seashells and bookmarks from trips long ago.

4. I get frustrated.  Chris mentioned this in his post last week, and it’s true for me, as well.   I let the boys see when I’m upset about other situations, people or life in general.  Feeling frustrated is not something I necessarily love about myself, but it is part of who I am.

5. I organize.  Both out loud and to myself.  I’ll go through the schedule of the day, the month, the next hour, whatever is on my mind.  Sometimes I worry that this is going to make them too time conscience, too “scheduled,” but I do it anyways.  Because it’s part of who I am.

I’m still trying to figure out the balance between being myself while also being a mom and a role model.

If I’m going to high five Mr. C because he gets excited about gingerbread socks and I’m going to encourage Mr. B to tell knock-knock jokes because it delights him to no end, shouldn’t I be delighting in my weird as well?

Do you feel like you’re authentic with your kids?  Where’s the line for you?