We get asked TV questions a lot, so today we decided to tackle the questions and give some insight into how our family handles TV time.
If you are a first time parent with a little one and trying to decide how much or what kind of TV time is right for your family, or if you’re in the middle of the toddler years and are trying to make some TV boundaries, this post is for you.
When we became parents I think we approached the issue of TV more from a place of fear than a place of intentionality.
We read the AAP’s recommendations for no screen time for kids under two along with various other studies, and decided that TV was not going to be a part of the boys lives for at least the first two years.
When that two years was up, we had to start thinking about the TV more realistically and figure out what we felt comfortable with as a family.
Below are some guidelines that we’ve found help us maintain a healthy, intentional relationship with TV in our family.
1. ROKU Box
A ROKU box has been a great addition to our family.
Aside from the occasional sporting event (the Olympics, football games), we only allow streaming programs on our TV. This eliminates public enemy number 1, TV commercials.
Chris and I both agree that one of the most damaging parts of watching TV, for both kids and adults, is the onslaught of advertising.
With a device like a ROKU box, you never have to worry about commercials, and you can always have control over what’s on the screen.
2. Slow and steady
There is a huge difference between watching Yo Gabba Gabba and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.
Fast scene changes, lots of loud, blinking sounds and lights – none of this contributes to peace of mind, or peace of living room.
The shows we allow in our house are slow-paced, even arguably boring.
3. We screen the screen
Before putting any new TV show on for the boys, either Chris or I or both screen it first. Sometimes we’ll watch only 5 minutes, before restarting it and then watching the whole thing with the boys.
When we’re pre-screening, we’re looking for villains, adult issues, questionable language, and the pace of the show among other things.
4. No villains
Life is full of villains. Our children will have plenty of time to figure that out for themselves. We don’t want to use screen time to introduce more villains or needless, fictional stress into their lives.
That’s why the typical super hero shows are not seen in our house. This could change as they get older – but for now, they think their shoelaces are villain enough, and that’s fine by us.
5. No overly merchandised shows
For this reason, we watch a lot of shows from the UK, Australia, Finland, etc…
Our kids don’t ask for lower-quality, more expensive Dora toys or Spiderman backpacks. Because our kids don’t watch Dora or Spiderman.
It cuts down on stress when at the store, and it cuts downs on the amount of minutes that advertisers get of my kids attention- which we try to keep as close to zero minutes as possible.
6. If nobody is watching, the TV is off
We never have the TV on in the background when we are doing other things.
The world presses in on our family with distractions enough as it is.
7. Amount of time
When the boys first started watching TV, it was just a 15 minute show every other day.
We started letting them watch more ever so gradually as they got older.
Now that they are four, they can watch 3-4 twenty minute shows a day.
We’re working on a system right now to have them do chores to “earn” shows, but we don’t have that fully worked out yet.
8. Watch with them
Yes, we watch kids TV with our kids. We use it as an opportunity to answer their questions, highlight lessons with recent real-life examples and laugh with them at funny moments.
We watch shows that are appropriate for their age, not shows that are meant for older audiences.
9. Limit or completely get rid of other screens
One reason we feel more comfortable with our children watching TV, is because it’s the only screen they use all day.
They don’t turn off the TV and then get on an iPad, or a computer or a video game.
The TV is the only glowing screen that they have access to at this point, so we know that 3 twenty minutes shows will be the only hour of screen time they will spend each day.
10. Watch the same amount of TV or less than your kids
Chris and I don’t watch much TV. Chris watches football, I sometimes watch HGTV to unwind and together we enjoy watching a good comedy like Parks and Rec or Arrested Development.
Remember that you are setting habits and priorities for your kids right now by your actions. They always weigh more heavily in your child’s mind than your words do.
You are undermining your message if you are telling your kids to go outside and play when you rarely leave the couch.
In Conclusion
TV is a part of our family’s lives, but we keep a tight leash on the time we spend with it.
If you’re wondering, here are some of the shows we currently have in rotation:
Pingu
Octonauts
Kipper
Justin Time
Trotro
Mighty Machines
Shaun the Sheep
Pocoyo
We hope these guidelines can help you and your family to use the TV in a more intentional way.
Please let us know, is there something you do that makes TV watching more intentional for your family?
Helpful post! We have struggled with TV time – going from absolutely none to about an hour a day with our almost 2.5 year old.
I wanted to mention that I noticed such a huge difference in her attitude over the holidays, when we visited the in-laws and she had access to a constantly-on television. Short attention span, quick to anger, irritated, wired…not any qualities I want her to keep!
We reigned it back in, as soon as we returned home, and our pleasant, happy little girl resurfaced.
Amazing what a difference a few hours a day can make!
There’s really on two we watch:
Rio 2 The Movie (no villains, happy, dancing…excellent!)
Sesame Street (especially the older episodes)
I’m so glad you wrote this Ashley as Chris and I can totally relate! We had a very, very similar experience. The boys definitely act more whiney, more entitled and less happy when they are in a spot where the TV has been on more than usual. Sometimes you just can’t help it, and that frustrates me. I’ve gone so far at restaurants as to ask them to turn off the TV or at least change the channel. It’s amazing what I’ve seen being broadcast at “family” restaurants.
There’s a TV in the boys dentist chair, their hair cut place and of course the gym where they walk through to get to school!
I often wonder if establishments think kids can’t live without TV or if it’s parents that are requesting the TV’s.
Either way, thanks for the comment and the show suggestions. We are going to try Sesame Street soon I think.
Thanks for the insight! Our first is 14 months and we know that we don’t have to make the decision about screen time until 2, but feel a little uncertain about after 2 years of age. Love these ideas.
Glad you found them helpful Erin. I hear you on the uncertainty – it’s a tricky path, screens and media and pretty much everything that comes with parenting! Please let us know if you have any specific questions or we can help in any way.
Here, Here!
I relate so much to these points! We also have made tv-watching intentional. Yes, our living room sofa points towards the tv, and I sometimes feel guilty about that, but hey, until we are able to have it appear magically from the floor, this will have to do. We don’t have cable/satellite and also stream our shows through our computer, so it’s content we control that way. The great thing about that too is I find it avoids “spill-over”. You know, when one show drags into another…and another… and another. The kids are so mesmerized and the parents are able to get so much done, that its a slippery slope.
Another point that I agree with is the no other screens. We *occasionally* play a show on our phones in the car for longer trips (we created a “dock” out of a piece of wood, two elastics, and the plastic backing the phone came in. seriously.) so the kids can watch it but don’t hold the device. also, NO YOUTUBE FOR KIDS! Its wild how immediately they discover how to click the videos at the side or bottom and to me it is much too risky for young kids to be playing around (oftentimes unsupervised) on Youtube.
Thanks for a great post, you time spend monitoring TV and doing other things with your kids will pay off big time in the future!
Thanks so much for sharing Cheryl! Love your ideas! I hope you invent a TV that comes out of the floor or ceiling – I would buy it immediately.
I know what you mean about the kids discovering how to click and navigate devices so quickly. I’ve been letting the boys play with an old digital camera of mine, and when they go to look at the photos, they try to swipe the screen to get to the next one. So weird how they just assume you can swipe any screen!
I can’t wait to explain film to them!
Let us know if you have any good shows up there in Canada that we might be missing out on!
It depends, do you want to learn French? Our favorite is a show from the 70s-80s called “Passe-Partout” (you can Youtube that ;-). It was created by educators and is VERY calm and interactive (Sophie often answers questions or nods at the screen as she watches it). I love that it not only provides more access to French language, but it is very “real-life”, as well as being quite calm and low-tech (we let them watch one before bed and it helps wind them down). To top it all off, JF watched it as a child so it is very sentimental for him.
We would love to learn French! I’ll check and see if I can find the show. Great post on Becoming Minimalist today btw – I’ve been looking around my houses and trying to see how many blank spaces I can find. Not many shelves, but definitely some drawers and cupboards.